Category: Family Travel Estimated Reading Time: 9 minutes
Last September, when my son was just 1 year and 2 months old, we embarked on what would become one of the most challenging and meaningful journeys of our lives—going home to the Philippines for the first time in 7 years.
As a Filipino-American mom, I thought I knew exactly what to expect. After all, I grew up there. I understood the culture, spoke the language, and knew the customs. What I didn’t anticipate was how much both my son and I would struggle with readjusting to a homeland that felt both familiar and foreign after seven years away.
If you’re considering international travel with a young child, especially to your home country after an extended absence, here’s the honest truth about what that journey really looks like.
The Journey: NYC to Bohol via Hong Kong
September 21st - The Departure: Our flight was scheduled to leave JFK around noon, which meant arriving at the airport by 8 AM with a 1-year-old who was already confused by the early departure from routine.
The Flight Plan:
• JFK to Hong Kong (approximately 16 hours)
• 2-hour layover in Hong Kong
• Hong Kong to Manila (approximately 2 hours)
• Arrived Manila September 23rd at 12 AM
• Domestic flight Manila to Bohol the same day
Total Travel Time: Over 30 hours door-to-door, including layovers and connections.
Pre-Flight Reality Check
Early Airport Arrival: Getting to JFK by 8 AM with all our luggage and a confused toddler was our first major challenge. He didn’t understand why we were leaving the house so early or why we had so many bags.
Security with a Toddler: International travel security with a 1-year-old is intense. Every bottle, food pouch, and toy gets scrutinized. Formula, baby food, and medications require additional screening. The process took nearly an hour.
Airport Waiting: Four hours at JFK before boarding gave me a preview of what managing an antsy toddler in confined spaces would be like for the next 30+ hours.
The 16-Hour Flight to Hong Kong
Takeoff Challenges: My son’s ears were bothering him during takeoff despite my preparations. The crying felt amplified in the confined airplane space, and I could feel other passengers’ reactions.
Sleep Struggles: Despite it being close to his normal nap time when we boarded, the airplane environment was too stimulating for him to settle. He slept maybe 4 hours total during the entire 16-hour flight.
Meal Complications: Airline baby food was different from what he was used to, and he refused most of it. I was grateful I’d packed familiar snacks, though my supplies ran lower than expected.
Entertainment Exhaustion: I’d prepared activities for a few hours of awake time, not realizing he’d be alert for most of the flight. My entertainment supplies were depleted by hour 8.
Diaper Disasters: Changing diapers in airplane bathrooms with turbulence is an Olympic sport I never trained for. The tiny changing tables and constant motion made every change feel precarious.
The Hong Kong Layover
Two Hours That Felt Like Ten: A 2-hour layover sounds manageable until you’re carrying luggage, managing a cranky toddler, and navigating an unfamiliar airport while exhausted yourself.
Cultural Preview: Even the Hong Kong airport felt overwhelming after being away from Asian environments for 7 years. The crowds, sounds, and energy were intense for both of us.
Toddler Meltdown: My son had his biggest meltdown of the trip in Hong Kong airport. Overtired, overstimulated, and completely out of routine, he cried for 45 minutes straight.
Arriving in Manila: September 23rd at Midnight
Immigration with a Baby: Processing through Manila immigration at midnight with a exhausted 1-year-old tested every patience reserve I had. The lines, paperwork, and unfamiliar procedures felt overwhelming despite my Filipino background.
Cultural Shock for Him: The heat, humidity, sounds, and smells hit us immediately. My son, who had never experienced tropical climate, was visibly uncomfortable and clingy.
My Own Adjustment: After 7 years away, even I felt disoriented. The Manila airport had changed, the processes were different, and I realized how much I’d become accustomed to American systems and efficiency.
Final Domestic Flight: The Manila to Bohol flight felt endless. My son was beyond his limits, and I was running on pure adrenaline and determination.
The Cultural Readjustment I Didn’t Expect
For My Son:
• Climate Shock: Going from temperate New York weather to tropical Philippines humidity was physically overwhelming for him
• Dietary Differences: Filipino food, cooking methods, and meal timing were completely foreign to his American palate
• Social Customs: The Filipino culture of everyone wanting to hold and interact with children felt invasive to him after American personal space norms
• Sensory Overload: The sounds, smells, and energy levels in the Philippines were intense compared to our quieter American lifestyle
For Me (The Surprising Part):
• Language Switching: Despite being fluent in Bisaya and Tagalog, I found myself thinking in English and having to consciously switch, which was mentally exhausting
• Parenting Style Differences: Filipino parenting approaches and expectations felt judgmental after years of American parenting culture
• Infrastructure Adjustments: Simple things like car seats, high chairs, and baby-proofed spaces weren’t standard, making daily logistics challenging
• Identity Confusion: I felt caught between two cultures—too American for some Filipino customs, but carrying Filipino values that felt foreign in American context
The Daily Realities I Wasn’t Prepared For
Safety Standards: Child safety standards in the Philippines were different from what I’d become accustomed to in the US. Car seat laws, playground safety, and general baby-proofing were much more relaxed.
Food Challenges: Finding familiar foods for my son became a daily struggle. American baby food brands weren’t available, and local options were unfamiliar to him.
Sleep Disruptions: Beyond jet lag, the different sounds, temperatures, and sleeping arrangements kept both of us sleep-deprived for weeks.
Social Expectations: Extended family had expectations about how much they could interact with my son that didn’t align with his comfort level or my parenting boundaries.
What Actually Helped During Our Stay
Flexibility Over Planning: My detailed itineraries became useless. Flexibility and willingness to change plans based on how we were both feeling became essential for survival.
Familiar Items: The comfort items I’d brought from home—his blanket, favorite snacks, and familiar toys—became anchors in an overwhelming environment.
Gradual Exposure: Instead of diving into all cultural experiences at once, we gradually introduced new foods, people, and environments as he could handle them.
Self-Compassion: Accepting that both of us needed time to adjust instead of expecting immediate adaptation reduced my stress significantly.
The Emotional Journey of Going Home
Nostalgia vs. Reality: The Philippines of my childhood memories was different from the reality I encountered as a mother returning after 7 years.
Identity Questions: Being away had changed my relationship with Filipino culture. I was no longer fully Filipino or fully American—I was something in between.
Generational Differences: Parenting approaches between my generation and my parents’ generation had evolved, creating some tension and interesting discussions.
Belonging Challenges: My son was clearly American in the Philippines, but he was also Filipino by heritage. Navigating his cultural identity became an unexpected journey.
What I Would Do Differently
Shorter Initial Trips: Two and a half months was too long for our first visit back with a young child. I’d recommend 3-4 weeks maximum for the first homecoming trip.
Better Flight Planning: I’d choose flights with longer layovers to reduce rushing, and possibly break up the journey with an overnight stop somewhere.
Gradual Cultural Introduction: Instead of diving into full cultural immersion immediately, I’d plan a more gradual introduction to Filipino food, customs, and social situations.
Manage Expectations: I’d prepare extended family better about American parenting approaches and my son’s needs for adjustment time.
Pack More Familiar Items: I’d bring more familiar foods, comfort items, and routine anchors to help with the transition.
The Unexpected Gifts of the Journey
Cultural Identity Clarity: The trip helped me understand my own cultural identity better and gave me language for navigating being Filipino-American.
Family Connections: Despite the challenges, my son did form connections with Filipino family members that will last a lifetime.
Resilience Building: Both of us proved we could handle major challenges and adapt to completely different environments.
Appreciation for Home: Coming back to New York, we both had deeper appreciation for our daily routines, familiar foods, and comfortable environment.
Heritage Foundation: The trip planted seeds of cultural awareness in my son that will grow as he gets older.
Advice for Other Parents Considering Heritage Travel
Start Smaller: If possible, take shorter trips first to gauge how your child handles international travel and cultural differences.
Prepare Extended Family: Have conversations about your child’s routines, dietary needs, and comfort levels before arrival.
Pack Strategically: Bring more familiar items than you think you’ll need—they become emotional anchors during overwhelming times.
Plan Recovery Time: Build in recovery time both during the trip and after returning home. Cultural adjustment is exhausting.
Embrace Imperfection: The trip won’t go as planned, and that’s okay. The goal is connection and experience, not perfection.
The Long-Term Impact
Cultural Awareness: My son now has sensory memories and early experiences of Filipino culture that will shape his identity as he grows.
Family Stories: The challenges we overcame together became family stories that we still talk about and that deepened our bond.
Travel Confidence: Surviving such a challenging trip built confidence that we can handle future travel adventures together.
Identity Foundation: The trip gave me language and experience to help my son understand his Filipino heritage as he develops his own cultural identity.
The Bottom Line
Going home to the Philippines after 7 years with my 1-year-old was one of the most challenging and meaningful experiences of our lives. The cultural readjustment was harder than expected for both of us, but it provided invaluable insights about identity, belonging, and family.
The journey wasn’t the perfect homecoming I’d imagined, but it was real, transformative, and necessary. My son may not remember the details, but the experience of being immersed in Filipino culture at such a young age planted seeds that will influence his understanding of his heritage throughout his life.
For parents considering similar heritage travel, know that it will be difficult, rewarding, exhausting, and meaningful all at once. The key is managing expectations, preparing thoroughly, and embracing the imperfect reality of international travel with young children.
Seven years away had changed me more than I realized, but going home—even with all its challenges—reminded me of roots I didn’t want my son to lose. Despite the difficulties, I’m grateful we made the journey when we did.
Have you taken your children to visit your home country or heritage locations? What challenges and surprises did you encounter? I’d love to hear about your own experiences with heritage travel and cultural identity navigation in the comments below.
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